Happy birthday to me

Hi blog.... its my birthday today... but somehow... it feels like any other day, dull, lacking in animation.. even to the extent of being dim. Birthdays seem to lack meaning except for the fact that another year of my pathetic life has passed me by and i'm one step closer to the end. I'm so sick of this world and the way it revolves around money, wealth and power. I'm sick of the intoxicating lifestyle everyone seems so adapted to, I'm sick of seeing those less deserving bestowed more and those deserving ones left behind to starve. I feel like moving to a small fishing village to retire and die off before this world drowns itself in its desire to manipulate.

I recently explored a little into tarot cards.... maybe its the desire to probe a little into the future.. to know what awaits and to have that little comfort to know that as bleak as it may seem... its already been decided upon and its not up to us to change it. I believe fortune telling really helps to help clear the mist when you get lost in the journey of life.. It's like a friend, telling you that no matter what happens, it'll be by your side to guide you through it...

这样的人 这样地等
无非是等个回应眼神
等你想起这没用的人
已经找到爱 为何要离开




一人一半 感情不散
一人一素故 感情才会久
时光累计 安静的泪滴
一心去追 爱那么可贵
这样的人 这样地等
无非是等个回应眼神
为爱翻滚 不计伤痕
甘心为你一生都浮沉
这样的人 别笑我蠢
傻傻的 心痛也不觉疼
就算天冷 就算残忍
等你想起这没用的人

一人一半 感情不散
已经找到爱 为何要离开

时光累计 安静的泪滴
一心去追 爱那么可贵
这样的人 这样地等
无非是等个回应眼神
为爱翻滚 不计伤痕
甘心为你一生都浮沉
这样的人 别笑我蠢
傻傻的 心痛也不觉疼
就算天冷 就算残忍
等你想起这没用的人

一人一半 感情不散
已经找到爱 为何要离开
已经找到爱 为何先离开

i am such a bastard.....

Words of wisdom - warren buffet

Read an interview with Mr Buffett, kept me thinking for awhile, summarized the geez of it..

Never let work keep you up at night, don't agonize over your mistakes it doesn't help, surround yourself with people that you trust and you'll do fine. Don't do just anything for money. Some people marry for money. That really does not make sense when you have more money.

Investing is like playing baseball, never make hasty decisions, You can sit at the plate and wait as long as you like.

To be a leader, focus is very important. The ability to get people to march. It takes the projection of confidence. You are asking people to trust you. Ask yourself who you would trust and make a role model outta him.

Sometimes, life directs you where to go, some things just can't be determined by sheer human willpower, its a combination of many factors, everyone has his or her station. If buffett was born in Bangladesh things would be different, but he was born in the U.S. where allocating capital is extremely important. so basically he was just picking off crumbs off the table as he puts it. Just do you best in what you do, craving for the unattainable will get you nowhere.

If i could do one thing over again, i wouldn't have choosen any one thing, but rather, i would have chosen to think more before i did anything.

If there's any one thing that intrigues you and you feel a strongly compelled to do it, don't wait, never wait for a chance to embark on your passion, pursue it fervently. If not, it'd be like saving up sex for old age, which would be a pretty stupid thing to do.

I would determine people who would run my business by their passion for it. I look for people who would rather run the business than do anything else in life. That is what is going through my mind. They have to prefer going to work over everything else. They have to love the business more than they love money.

Well, just some food for thought, i think his wisdom doesn't really lie in his investment advice or business sense, but rather his way of life.I believe that the richest people on earth are the ones actually the only few who aren't blinded by wealth, rather, they pursue passion and life itself. Maybe having all the riches in the world gives them the privilege to see things in a different light.

I once read this somewhere and it made hell alot of sense to me

It isn't the burdens of Today that drive men mad.
It is the Regrets over Yesterday and the Fear of Tommorow.
Regrets and Fear are twin thieves who rob us of Today.
So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles.
Instead climb more mountains, eat more ice cream,
go barefoot more often
swim more rivers, watch more sunsets
Laugh more, Cry less
Learn to treasure today as if there's no tomorrow
And learn to cherish the thought of tomorrow as if today didn't happen.

Newton predicted the end of the world to come in 2060, no one knows actually when this life will come to an end, But just know that we only live once, so live it well.

I think im being bored outta my life, stuck at home for the past 48 hrs, injured my leg AGAIN, don't seem to understand why its so prone to injury... Z.zZ.Zz.. nevermind, at least i got my new keyboard, those wu sim one, pls come visit, i'll be stuck at home for at least another 1-2 days

Time of your life

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

(music break)

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.


Had a fun time tdy, gong came down, we planned for a dinner at suntec, but being the pigs we are, we settled for pizza + KFC at home whilst watching 公主小妹, had a great time, haven't felt this way in a long time.

Maybe sometimes life really isn't about the number of breaths that you take, but rather the number of moments that take your breath away, it's not about how tough the going gets or how smooth the flow of events, but rather the kind of fulfilment you get, and the bits and pieces of memories that makes it all worthwhile. So still frames in your minds ,Hang it on a shelf, in good health and good time, tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial,For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable,but in the end it's right.I hope you had the time of your life. That's what life is about.

公主小妹 was a really nice show, i can't really figure out what makes up it's charm, maybe people live their fantasies through such shows, maybe its the only place ordinary guys like you and me can get a little reprieve from the cruel world. Maybe even if you can't live it up, it's good enough to see beautiful people live it up in the frames of a virtual world so disparate from ours. Last point to add.. zhang shao han has miraculously become chio in the show! SOOOOO CHIO! i think i'm starting like her... maybe entering character can make alot of difference

Covering up

Sometimes in an attempt to cover up your hideousness, you magnify the magnitude of it. Beauty manifests when you least expect it.

step 2, back to step 1

The cycle of life,

Step 1 : Work hard earn money
Step 2 : Revert to step 1

The demon of desire

Weird isn't it, sometimes, you seem to feel a sudden sense of despair without any apparent reason, somehow you feel as if they world has left you behind. That's the demon of desire. It's a syndrome unique to urban jungles, where ferraris and zondas roam the land, where sky scrapers and million dollar mansions root the earth, where pimp my ride's the hottest show in town.Its as though god made the world to be equal, but this disparity of wealth is driving the sanity out of your head. Maybe.. humans are just built this way, feelings and desires are made to be out of mundane control. That's why the its said that humans are born into this world to suffer, to suffer from worldy desires.

Just like what shixiong says, it would be probably better if we were born in the mountains, where there's less exposure, you wouldn't be plagued by such secular matters, ignorance is bliss, what you don't know of, you don't need. Humanity will never be able to attain contentment as long as jealousy is at work. What others have, you want it too. As per what shixiong said, when you are renting, you just yearn for a home to call your own, when you have a house, you yearn for a villa. When you don't have a girlfriend, you just hope to have someone by your side, but when you finally have one, you want Miss Asia, and when you have miss asia, again you yearn for Miss World.

Its a vicious cycle, but nevertheless, although feelings are not within our control, we can help ourselves by focusing on today, the things in front of us, by giving your best to spend each day as happily as possible, that way, life would be less agonizing.

Sugar and spice

1) Life is made up of sugar and spice, spicy enough to make you remember its sweetness

2) Ignorance is bliss

3) Underachieving means that you are less prone to losing what you have attained

4) Its all about learning how to balance life, like a gum.. Hard enough to keep its shape, Soft enough to give you a tangy elastic feeling.

5) Alone time is very important

6) I'm very very very very very gay

There was once a guy who slogged all his life, he finally made it rich, he had lost his family to work, no friends to speak of, but heck, he had money. He decided that he had enough money to live in the lap of luxury for the rest of his life. So he moved to a small fishing town, he built the biggest most extragavant house in the vicinity. Beside him lived a fisherman in a modest cottage, everyday, he would sit by his window in the evening and look below at the fisherman taking a break looking at the sunset. One day, out of curiosity, the fisherman asked him "Hey, what do you do everyday? Why do you spy on me everyday?" He replied "I worked my whole life to achieve what i have now, I dont have time to spy on you, i like to fish all day and enjoy the beautiful sun set beyond the horizon in the evening before i end my day with a nice quiet dinner at home. Before he could finish the sentence, a gentle voice sounded out to the fisherman "Dear, its time to go home with your catch, i'm cooking your favourite dish tonight"

the gay me

Yes... i'm ripping things off your blog again... please bite me...


I think its been a long time since i've been in touch with my gay self.... life's been so hectic these days i hardly have time for a breather, been to quite a few places lately... although most of the time... i return without anything to answer for.. germany was extremely cold.. and everyday spent there was a pain in the ass.. although i do enjoy the morning strolls to the messe... koln in indeed a fine town except for the fact that you could die of boredom there. Holland was a fine place... lots of weed, lots of space cake and lots of naked girls parading in front of windows... sometimes i do wonder how this rampant whoring culture came about... maybe its because rotterdam has so many sailors docking by who hasn't seen a female sex organ in like a year or so... if you didn't realise, most major ports in the world has a legal sex industry.... including singapore.

Vietnam was nice too... life is simple... sometimes if you think about it... you slog all your life in order to lead a simple life when you are old... haha.. the irony... going to jarkata next week... i think im spending more time in hotels than at home...

went through some old posts today... felt as if i travelled through time... back to the past where it all seemed better.. Its always better when its over.. a phrase often used in the army... it didn't make much sense to me then.. but it does now...

Duhz

Bei shang de cai gou - by my little airport

订了一季又到下季
为何人大了就要成为 工作的奴隶
最爱作的不可发挥

我的感觉逐渐流逝...

从前曾話过要如何 欣赏世界的美丽，
现在只懂得放假去消费。

如果继续这样 我还是我吗?
我还喜欢我吗?
或者我应该死去吧... 总好过变得更差...

如果繼續這樣 你还愿意吗? 和我奏着结他?

日子不应该这样吧 而现实就是这样可怕。

I dreamt of a talking dog who studied in NUS school of arts that pwned me, i'm stealing songs and lyrics from other blogs and i'm drooling in the office half asleep.. what's next?

My hero

I salute the man who wrote this, you who dares venture where no man ventured before, you are my hero! I hope you are still alive to see this....


I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.

And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that *^$@! knows I'm smarter than her.

stewie...

ahh.... the innocence....
sometimes... its how you appreciate everyday life.. making jokes outta mundane happenings.. it helps you live life to the max...

An awesome rendition of 爱如潮水 by 蔡淳佳, classic....



People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within. Ramona L. Anderson

It's true you know... ever wondered who the happiest people are, they are those who follow the course of nature. The circle of life mandates that humans have to go through a series of events that will set their life in place. Studies have shown that urban dwellers are alot less happier than their counterparts living in the countrysides. It is probably the law of nature that men are supposed to be hunters, to physically engage in activities that would bring food. The routine then continues every other day, and there is nothing on their minds other than bringing in food, reproducing and caring for their young. This fixed routine is one that truly brings about peace to the mind. It may sound truly unorthodox, but being physically worn out from gathering food would probably be the way to gain mental peace. To prevent emptiness from creeping up onto you and turn your world topsy turvy,

I once heard a quote from a movie - The Prodigy, "Which strikes more fear in you? Drugs or Emptiness?" It is probably true that emptiness brings about the most pain and suffering, it's especially prominent in our urban environment... look around you, among all that self pompousness, all that vibrancy that seems to be in your life, you'll never be as happy as the person living a modest, inconspicous lifestyle who very clearly knows what he/she wants.

I love stewie!!!

只是个寻找小女孩的大男人

just a 大男人 in search of his 小女孩

Contentment begets happiness, but sometimes, that which is the most simple is the hardest to gratify. To be able to play the correct role and be in each's rightful place, as basic as it seems is probably the most unattainable course of action in the world. Sometimes if only things were as simple as it was supposed to be, if there were a little less mind games, if there was a tad more patience , if there we all knew contentment, it would all be simpler.... sometimes, the simplest of things are the hardest to find...... truly a 大男人 in need of a 小女孩

some things in life... never changes....

8/05/07

It's been so long, don't really know where to start....

Went for a session of basketball in the morning, relived those long forgotten poly days, met a bunch of youngsters who just enlisted, makes me reminisce my younger days, where life was alot simpler. I really miss the days spent with mf, jeremy in the court, there wasn't a care in the world, we weren't bothered by mundane affairs and worldy matters... there wasn't a question of survival in this wretched and forlorn city ravaged by greed, a world that has forsaken all humane sentiments, a place deprived of empathy, where the prevailing principle "survival of the fittest" stands tall and unchallenged.

In the past, our world revolved around school and play and of course, that girl we met whom we can't seem to get off our minds, we would rant about it all day in the court as we pit our skills against the boys from the other teams,in those days life's decisions was all about which bak kut teh stall to patronize and whether to pick up that cute girl sitting by the courtside. I believed time has really changed us all, we can now no longer afford to be that carefree student we used to be, we now have to take new challenges as we step into a new chapter of life.

In this new chapter, we step into a ring where a fight is to the death, its no longer about individual progress, its about progress of society, you have to be in step with its progress or be left behind and be disposed off as trash. You no longer have the luxury of setting your own pace, you have to grow, expand and overtake others before you get swallowed. You can't expect to be left alone to progress at a pace comfortable to yourself, you have to be aggressive and expect competition to come knocking at your door at any point of time.

Sometimes i wonder if it's the right time to be out in society, in the news everyone seems to be making their pot of gold, be it out of real estate or equities, it doesn't seem to concern us, the common folks, the saying goes, the rich get richer and the poor gets poorer, sometimes i wonder, if i don't work hard and get into the upper echelon, will we survive? will we be able to afford a decent living, a comfortable flat and the other neccesities of life?

With the sky rocketing property and raw material prices, and increasing inflation, i wonder when the cycle will finally peak? Or will it? perhaps mother earth's resources can no longer sustain the once peaceful and contented race called humans whose greed can no longer be contained. Perhaps SARS was mother nature's way of telling us to stop reproducing and start showing her some attention. Ironic isn't it, the fundamentals of ecnomics are built on a constantly increasing demand and a constant supply to keep in pace with the demand. That's the only way for the world to progress ecnomically and everywhere in first world nations, governments are encouraging birth rates to produce the population to fuel the economy. Haa... perhaps everyone knows the world is becoming overpopulated but no one seems to be able to put aside their self interest and start to think for the planet, perhaps when you are high up there, you start to think less of problems that aren't immediate. Perhaps, your mind is clouded with economic development and a strong desire to make your country strong and in control.... perhaps.. you think you won't live on the see the repercussions of your decisions.... perhaps you think this is just a hippie doing his ranting.... perhaps.......

可乐戒指

星星在天上写诗， 浪漫到放肆，男孩看来有点羞涩，女孩一脸幸福的期待。
嘴角的吻还微湿，想试着掩饰 ，女孩调整了坐姿，假装更矜持。

看着男孩紧张的公式，就像个孩子，把喝完的可乐盖子，来换当作戒指
轻轻套上了手指。他问能不能一辈子，那一秒她突然爱上了他，那傻傻的固执。

女孩说，不要解释，不要发誓，只要记得此刻，眼里对方的样子。
这一刻到世界末日， 他们一起把爱，化成最美最美的钻石

把平凡的日子，都变成纪念日，永恒变成未来史，男孩变王子，把女孩当宝石。
不须要有大房子，也不要大宝石，只要学会珍惜那一辈子的可乐戒指。
展开双翅，从此刻到世界末日，活成最美的钻石。

恋爱的感觉应该好好吧，奢望一个感觉，坚持一个梦想。

当咖啡离开了杯垫

Silence can be deafening at times... a void that seems to stretch into eternity... doubts that can never be answered... a blink of an eye seems to speak a thousand words that you can never decipher.... maybe it was meant to be a miss... maybe no one ever understood what it was all about... maybe no one will ever be able to unravel the mystery behind the forcefully subtle impact of this deafening silence...

Jb

Seafood, Durian, Movie, Shell Super x 37ltr and i still got 68Rm left from the $90 i changed.... a thin border makes such a big difference... this is probably one of the first time i met ah chong in jb w/o ronald... it was fun.... everything was at a relaxed pace, the food was good and at the end of the day i still have some vitamin M left for the next trip...

Videos... frames and frames of scenes disparate from reality, picturisque sights, beautiful characters, poignant moments, intense emotions.... maybe sometimes it is justifiable to immerse and indulge in the virtual world... it makes life worth living, it makes you feel as if there are still things worth looking forward to even if they seem so distant to you.



冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面

拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐 oh
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

In the little world of our own...

as usual.. been relatively busy lately... schedule's packed to the brim.. for the first time in my life, when i want to arrange dinner with friends, i have to "preplan".. that word was never once in my dictionary, everything was impromptu.. but now it seemed to have become my way of life.. no longer the spontaneous saggitarian... whenever i reach home... my brain's totally drained out from the day's activity... so much to write about... yet somehow i feel lost for words...

Had an encounter with an astronomy enthusaist.... looked through the telescope for the first time, and realised that there's more to the moon than we can see with the naked eye... the outline, the texture... etc...somehow it looked interesting.. but i simply can't picture myself sitting there all night looking through a telescope..

It suddenly occured to me that the kind of lifestyle lead by different individuals seem to differ vastly even though all of us live in this urban jungle driven by the one same purpose in life, the pursuit of happiness, although happiness might have a different meaning for each of us, but to the bulk of us i believe it translates into "wealth and power"

It seems that all of us are in a little world of our own aren't we, no matter how well read or how exposed you are, you are but a micro-organism in the sparse universe where even the most advance technology and the best media can but only give you a view of what the other galaxy looks like, but you can only stay a spectator and will always be alien to that planet so within reach but yet so distant.

The weather's beautiful tonight, trebles of waves looks undisturbed by the ripples amongst the vast ocean, feels so serenaded by the tranquility of the night... its a pity these pictursique sights can't be archived...

Have you asked yourself what you want in life? society teaches you wealth, power, success... and you live your whole life in pursuit of these 3 unquantifiable items... and you start to wonder what's next after you achieve all that... some people live their whole lives without knowing what they want.... i really dread that feeling... maybe happiness doesn't lie beyond the horizon... maybe neverland is a place you left behind... maybe if you retrace and track back into your life... you'll find your never... never land....


I'm beginning to like stewie... he's very much like cartman... i like scums... especially those with some innocence embedded within....



First of 10 episodes.... so simple.. yet it inspires on an epic scale..don't look at this vid from the romantic aspect... there's so much more to it hidden behind the romantic backdrop...

relaxed

Dun ask me why.... but this feels like me now.... in a relaxed mood.... as if i'm on holiday..

Time out...

Felt a sudden calling to blog suddenly.... although i really should be working on my maths... smelly chen's words kept ringing in my ears... "you shouldn't let work dictate your life" its true one should incorporate some entertainment regardless of how busy the schedule can get... but sometimes its truly difficult when work is piling up faster than you can finish it.

I've always found writing to be an extremely good outlet for all kinds of emotions... be it grief or bliss.. you would want to release your discontentment and your felicity... Its also a great listening ear... when you write... you seem to be talking to someone... you are subtly releasing whatever you wish to without restrain.. there will be no one to pass off sarcastic comments or give you that grim look.. there's just be one very good listening ear for you to pour out to... you can do it in any sequence, there need not be connections in between sentences and you can digress as far as you wish to... that's what i term as absolute freedom of speech.. your writing platform will always be interested in whatever you wish to express and will echo it out loud to you in the form of palpable words appearing right in front of your eyes. I love this one way communication.. what would i do without you? even as i write now... i can feel a rush of ecstasy, excretion of endorphin.. i feel good and happy...

Its sometimes nice to switch personalities, to create change in your surrounding environment and experience new things.. Maybe i wouldn't term it as change.. its more of a temporary mutation.. its juz change to temporarily see the world from a totally different perspective... the world manifests itself in different manners to ppl in different positions, and by putting yourself in many different positions, your life experiences and learning curve increases exponentially... i enjoy accumulating a wealth of experiences, they are the only things you can hold dear to at the end of the day... Anyways... don't you think i'm starting to write like you... and you're starting to write like me now? who's the emo boy? who's the emo boy?...

ok... back to work...

Hi BLog

hi blog its me.... i've finally reached home..... i didn't have time to write and even now i still can't exactly squeeze time out to write... my brain's drained and i have zero thoughts except for work work and more work... its been quite a routine schedule for the whole of the past week, everyday at 8am its breakfast den its off to work... till 2 break for short lunch den its all the way till 9pm... barely able to reach home by 11.... by den... i'm dead beat... and its still not the end... cos i still got MORE work to do.... everyday its sai kang sai kang and more sai kang.... and i think i'm developing workaholic symptoms... I've always wanted to edit the chunk i pasted out to CL that day and make a post out of... but simply left it hanging... came across 2 interesting raps... wanted to blog about it... but again... simply can't spare the time... too many things... too little time.... too many thoughts... too little brain cells... talk about scarcity.... anyways... heck it... i'm gonna post it anyways... 2 things i learnt at work... Talk less, Do more... Its about time i learnt to post interesting stuff without having a commentary run alongside it...

its the second episode of 2... will post up the second part of it the next time i get to log in blogspot.. ok... i g2g make preparations for tmr's sai kang again... i hope to see you soon.... if i manage the time....

Digiland CheonG!!!! C20 Cheong!!! Adriot Cheong!!!! MDE Cheong!!! Aqua Terra Cheong!!!

to chek: Who is Ms sherly??

To CL

This is a first prize winning essay that was shown in the papers... found it lying somewhere on my comp.... wonder why its there? but then again... there are alot of things that are not mine lying around...

Amanda Wei-Zhen Chong Raffles Girls School (Secondary) Singapore

What the Modern Woman Wants

The old woman sat in the backseat of the magenta convertible as it careened down the highway, clutching tightly to the plastic bag on her lap, afraid it may be kidnapped by the wind. She was not used to such speed, with trembling hands she pulled the seatbelt tighter but was careful not to touch the patent leather seats with her callused fingers, her daughter had warned her not to dirty it, "Fingerprints show very clearly on white, Ma". Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver mobile phone using big words the old woman could barely understand. "Finance" "Liquidation" "Assets" "Investments"… Her voice was crisp and important and had an unfamiliar lilt to it.

Her Bee Choo sounded like one of those foreign girls on television. She was speaking in an American accent. The old lady clucked her tongue in disapproval. "I absolutely cannot have this. We have to sell!" Her daughter exclaimed agitatedly as she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicured fingernails gripping onto the steering wheel in irritation. "I can’t DEAL with this anymore!" she yelled as she clicked the phone shut and hurled it angrily toward the backseat. The mobile phone hit the old woman on the forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap. She calmly picked it up and handed it to her daughter. "Sorry, Ma" she said losing the American pretense and switching to Mandarin. "I have a big client in America. There have been a lot of problems." The old lady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and important. Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view window, wondering what she was thinking.

Her mother’s wrinkled countenance always carried the same cryptic look. The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful digital tune, which broke the awkward silence. "Hello Beatrice! Yes, this is Elaine." Elaine. The old woman cringed. I didn’t name her Elaine. She remembered her daughter telling her, how an English name was very important for "networking", Chinese ones being easily forgotten. "Oh no, I can’t see you for lunch today. I have to take the ancient relic to the temple for her weird daily prayer ritual." Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was referring to her. Her daughter always assumed that her mother’s silence meant she did not comprehend. "Yes, I know! My car seats will be reeking of joss sticks!" The old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic bag in defence.

The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked almost garish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple’s roof. The old woman got out of the back seat, and made her unhurried way to the main hall. Her daughter stepped out of the car in her business suit and stilettos and reapplied her lipstick as she made her brisk way to her mother’s side. "Ma, I’ll wait outside. I have an important phone call to make," she said, not bothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense.

The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick, she knelt down solemnly and whispered her now familiar daily prayer to the Gods. Thank you God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these years. Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything a young woman in this world could possibly want. She has a big house with a swimming pool, a maid to help her, as she is too clumsy to sew or cook. Her love life has been blessed; she is engaged to a rich and handsome angmoh man. Her company is now the top financial firm and even men listen to what she says. She lives the perfect life. You have given her everything except happiness. I ask that the gods be merciful to her even if she has lost her roots while reaping the harvest of success. What you see is not true, she is a filial daughter to me. She gives me a room in her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me only because I affect her happiness. A young woman does not want to be hindered by her old mother. It is my fault.

The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes. Finally, with her head bowed in reverence she planted the half burnt joss stick into an urn of smoldering ashes. She bowed once more. The old woman had been praying for her daughter for thirty-two years. When her stomach was round like a melon, she came to the temple and prayed that it was a son. Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb, bawling and adorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably a girl. Her husband had kicked and punched her for producing a useless baby who could not work or carry the family name. Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tried to her waist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and have everything she ever wanted. Her husband left her and she prayed that her daughter would never have to depend on a man. She prayed every day that her daughter would be a great woman, the woman that she, meek and uneducated, could never become. A woman with nengkan; the ability to do anything she set her mind to. A woman who commanded respect in the hearts of men. When she opened her mouth to speak, precious pearls would fall out and men would listen. She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow up and drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood. She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl, to one who openly defied her, calling her laotu; old-fashioned. She wanted her mother to be "modern", a word so new there was no Chinese word for it. Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered why she had prayed like that. The gods had been faithful to her persistent prayer, but the wealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried the girl’s roots and now she stood, faceless, with no identity, bound to the soil of her ancestors by only a string of origami banknotes.

Her daughter had forgotten her mother’s values. Her wants were so ephemeral; that of a modern woman. Power, Wealth, access to the best fashion boutiques, and yet her daughter had not found true happiness. The old woman knew that you could find happiness with much less. When her daughter left the earth everything she had would count for nothing. People would look to her legacy and say that she was a great woman, but she would be forgotten once the wind blows over, like the ashes of burnt paper convertibles and mansions.

The old woman wished she could go back and erase all her big hopes and prayers for her daughter; now she had only one want: That her daughter be happy. She looked out of the temple gate. She saw her daughter speaking on the phone, her brow furrowed with anger and worry. Being at the top is not good, the woman thought, there is only one way to go form there – down. The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spread out a packet of beehoon in front of the altar. Her daughter often mocked her for worshipping porcelain Gods. How could she pray to them so faithfully and expect pieces of ceramic to fly to her aid? But her daughter had her own gods too, idols of wealth, success and power that she was enslaved to and worshipped everyday of her life Everyday was a quest for the idols, and the idols she worshipped counted for nothing in eternity. All the wants her daughter had would slowly suck the life out of her and leave her, an empty soulless shell at the altar. The old lady watched her joss tick. The dull heat had left a teetering grey stem that was on the danger of collapsing.

Modern woman nowadays, the old lady sighed in resignation, as she bowed to the east one final time to end her ritual. Modern woman nowadays want so much that they lose their souls and wonder why they cannot find it. Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey powder. She met her daughter outside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration was etched on her daughter’s face. An empty expression, as if she was plowing through the soil of her wants looking for the one thing that would sow the seeds of happiness.

They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove along the highway, this time not as fast as she had done before. "Ma," Bee Choo finally said. "I don’t know how to put this. Mark and I have been talking about it and we plan to move out of the big house. The property market is good now, and we managed to a buyer willing to pay seven million for it. We decided we’d prefer a cosier penthouse apartment instead. We found a perfect one in Orchard Road. Once we move in to out apartment we plan to get rid of the maid, so we can have more space to ourselves…" The old woman nodded knowingly. Bee Choo swallowed hard. "We’d get someone to come in to do the housework and we can eat out…but once the maid is gone, there won’t be anyone to look after you. You will be awfully lonely at home and besides that the apartment is rather small. There won’t be space. We thought about it for a long time, and we decided the best thing for you is if you moved to a Home. There’s one near Hougang, it’s a Christian home, a very nice one." The old woman did not raise an eyebrow. "I’ve been there, the matron is willing to take you in. It’s beautiful with gardens and lots of old people to keep you company! I hardly have time for you, you’d be happier there." "You’d be happier there, really." Her daughter repeated as if to affirm herself. This time the old woman had no plastic bag of food offerings to cling tightly to; she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt, as if it would protect her from a daughter who did not want her anymore. She sunk deep into the leather seat, letting her shoulders sag, and her fingers trace the white seat. "Ma?" her daughter asked, searching the rear view window for her mother. "Is everything okay?" What had to be done, had to be done. "Yes" she said firmly, louder than she intended. "if it will make you happy," she added more quietly. "It’s for you Ma! You’ll be happier there. You can move there tomorrow, I already got the maid to pack your things." Elaine said triumphantly, mentally ticking yet another item off her agenda. "I knew everything would be fine." Elaine smiled widely; she felt liberated. Perhaps getting rid of her mother would make her happier. She had thought about it. It seemed the only hindrance in her pursuit of happiness.

She was happy now. She had everything a modern woman ever wanted; Money, Status, Career, Love, Power and now, Freedom, without her mother and her old-fashioned ways to weigh her down… Yes, she was free. Her phone buzzed urgently, she picked it up and read the message, still beaming from ear to ear. "Stocks 10% increase!" Yes, things were definitely beginning to look up for her… And while searching for the meaning of life in the luminance of her hand phone screen, the old woman in the backseat became invisible, and she did not see the tears.

I have difficulty paragraphing this whole lump... cos its more like a conversation than like a story... no more running commentaries... but there's a song that runs in tandem with it...
wanted to put in charlene's orginal version... but couldn't seem to find a complete version of it... so juz bear with the SHE one...

insomniac

If you spend most of your nights knocking your brains out trying to discover a way to get to sleep, you're probably just like me... welcome to the insomniac club, these days, its been getting more and more difficult to get to sleep as i spend more nights at home and run out of programmes to do. Everyone tells me i look extremely busy, pre-occupied with activities all day long, well.. that isn't exactly the case, my civilian life revolves around skating, going to the office, walking around town, walking around town, and umm... more walking around town... especially in wee hours of the night, i just realised that 4 out of 7 nights i would spend walking from cineleisure to far east and back, 2-3 times, the other 3 nights, i spend walking up and down citylink/suntec city.... what a fulfilling lifestyle! But nevertheless, i sorta enjoy this repetitive, mundane, downright boring way of life.

Found this on a webbie i found

Question: What does an insomniac agnostic dyslexic do late at night?

Answer: Lie awake wondering about the existence of dog.

Found this interesting although i have no idea what it means and where the crux of the joke is... and to add to it... i had to go search the dictionary for what agnostic and dyslexic means... but at least it kept me occupied.

Something posted on shareinvestor forum...

Heavenly Father,

Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

it's all about perception isn't it... if we make believe that there's a tear inducing story behind the shit we encounter everyday, we'd probably be a tad more forgiving and understanding, not to mention how much we'd be able to delay the male balding effect from the reduction of wallowing in self righteous anger.

Something to note...
Today, i did something phenomenal... a stupendously portentous feat... by my standards... i have very low standards though... i had only 10 bucks left on me when i left for the market and i managed to return with a sumptous breakfast for my whole family =D, i feel proud of myself.

Mystery...

Has your mind ever wandered off.... in an attempt to absolve that binding curiosity pertaining to a particular mystery which intrigues every cell in your body? Have you ever come a sane and logical conclusion as to why or rather how such phenomenons can occur? strange sightings, weird dreams, the bermuda triangle...

Have you ever experienced deja vu? That strange feeling as though a particular scene in your life has taken place before? Sometimes i wonder if we live our lifetimes over and over again... perhaps we are just an algorithmic function.... somewhat like a function in a computer program, each and everyone of us perform a certain function in this world and when we complete the process, we go back into the system till the program requires us and does a function call... each time we perform our particular function the course of actions are the same, but the inputs are slightly different... and each time the results are different.

too much maths in the afternoon... makes me crazy...

I enjoy a good view... the magnificence of the waves crashing into the cliffs in augusta, the pretty lights of ships contrasting the dark skies and the calm seas, the panoramic view of the city, the starry starry nights.... I still vividly remember the sights we encountered when me and chek backpacked across western australia... especially the delightful sunrise and the stars that shone brightly in the darkness of the night... if you enjoy a great view of the vast ocean ... go watch pirates of the caribbean 3... a great movie...

Adblock

So hot i cried myself to sleep......

My almanac calender....

It's time to take a look at the crystal ball.... will something happen in june?
maybe... maybe not.... my almanac tells me that june is not a good month.... at least... not for most ppl... somehow... i have this vehement compulsion to let go of most of my stuff and stay low.... are you over leveraged? if you are... its probably time to rethink your financial status... well... nothing changes though... the world will still revolve... bastards will still be bastards.. bitches will still be bitches... but you'll probably see alot less of them on the streets because the streets probably won't be as crowded.. I hope i'm a bad fortune teller..... and my almanac is a corrupted version....

Financial freedom

"I want to achieve financial freedom", I believe you've come across this sentence more than once. Our society is progressively moving towards decadence, all thanks to the influence of the so called culture of the "new era", nobody really knows what they want, i don't know what i want... Everyone follows like a blind sheep at the edge of the cliff and conforms to whatever propoganda the media broadcasts.

Donald Trump, David Beckham, Paris Hilton, such are the tv personalities that the common folks place upon a pedestal and attempt to mimic in terms of fashion sense, physical appearences, behavior and even to some extent their lingo. But have you really asked yourself if you "wanna walk talk and rock like slim shady"? The media start setting benchmarks for all sort of ridiculous things. Now... you have attach a few chosen labels on the back of your shirt to appear cool? just because the tv says so? Where did the days go where we followed our hearts and did what we felt was best? Sometimes it leads me to wonder if the prophesized mechanical future where artificial intelligence rules the world is just metaphorical? Maybe it refers to the mechanized behavior of humans, all programmed in one particular way, variance in personalities, attitude and speech will become a thing of the past and diversity will cease to exist.... ok... maybe i went a little off.. but you get what i'm trying to say....

I realise i tend to digress.... back to the topic of financial freedom, What is the definition of financial freedom, i believe everyone has a different definition to it although they have the same insatiable greed. To some, it means a fully paid up flat, a modest car and the ability to send their kids to university, for some.. it means a little bit more, and to the MTV cribs it means having the opulence to have your house in the middle of a valley with a 18 hole golf course and a helicopter pad. Regardless of their definition of financial freedom, many have turned to instruments that allows them to hope for... anything that gives them that rare commodity named hope, even a glimpse of it will suffice. The equities market is one of the popular investment instrument many turn to... but how many actually know what they are doing? And if they know their stuff, do they have the discipline to abide by their rules as they ride the emotional roller coaster? Goethe once quoted "To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking."

Many rely on tips given by "gurus" on forums and never try to do their own homework and some blindly rely on hearsay, who are you going to blame if things don't go the way it's supposed to? 2 words "Cavaet Emptor", go suck on your balls. Like what Albert ellis said "The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology or the president.You realize that you control your own destiny". As you move, you learn, you win some you lose some, but you gain the wealth of knowledge and experience, some lessons can be painful, so just know your limits. Subsistence income is the most important thing of all, if you're ever gonna attain what you wish for, you have to got to be able to fill your stomach first...

The theory of infinite opportunities says that "There is always another day to earn your pot of gold, one good decision is better than a basket ambivalent ones"

Well... digressing again.... all in all... i think... in retrospect... we were all less bound to financial woes in the days of yore... even though we were less well off in the quantifiable aspect.. Don't you think so?

I love good quotes....

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

His ignorance is encyclopedic" - Abba Eban

月黑风高

夜深了，排回在安静的街道上

沉默仿佛在耳边，轻轻地嘲笑这个迷失的男孩

男生问了问自己“为什么会在这里”

满脑都是那身后迪斯高舞厅的吵闹

城市的喧哗掩盖了他的视线

不知不觉走到了这里，却不知道想去哪里。。

男孩眼前出现了一辆黑色德士，

他拖着沉重的双脚上了车

男孩看着司机惺忪的双眼，问了问司机 “你还好吧？看起来好累..好累”

司机微笑的点了点头，轻声说道“习惯了，我下班后还有份打扫得兼职，这点不算什么”

司机轻轻的踩了油门，开往那被雨蒙蔽，看不到尽头的路

看着车上那件烫得笔挺的西装，男孩好奇地问司机“这西装。。”

司机嘴角露出了一丝笑容，话道

“明天是我儿子的毕业典礼，他明天就正式成为见习医生了，他好乖的， 我是粗人一个，不懂得如何教他，但他一直都不用我操心，我忙碌了半辈子纵欲等到他成才的一天，好开心，好开心”

司机那一丝丝的白发和眼角的皱纹把它弄得好苍老，看起来好累好累

但从声音中听出司机一份不怕牺牲的爱，和一份骄傲和喜悦。

男孩的脑海中浮现出好多好多画面，自己的过去，自己迷惘的前途， 看到了父亲被岁月弄得苍老的那张脸，和那劳碌了半辈子得双手。大城市灯光鲜艳，看着窗外的路灯，车里的影子，却看不到自己，看到了路牌，却怀疑方向，走了千万公里，却忘记了目地。。。

他从沉思中突然被司机叫醒

“我老了，忘了问你。。。”

“你要去哪里？”




月黑风高

陈奕迅

月黑风高弯腰在记程车雨点大 不短的路 给蒙蔽
我看司机这样子 熬夜到天亮不容易
谁知他说 开完车 还要替一正东大厦扫地才休息
如果能多争几个钱 让儿子上大学没关系
他还说 没关系 再困也没有问题
只要下一代了不起
下一代 我们再 我们再 唉声叹气
在沼泽里无能为力
想不到为什么会在这里 又想去哪里
越懂得多 越不满意 越喜欢回忆
看到了背影 看不到自己
路牌也都怀疑一直 走千万公里 忘记了目的
他笑着说 从来没 没念过书只懂得 出卖劳力 求生息
所以才希望他儿子 将来能行医 有出息
他说已经大年纪开着车 右手有一点麻痹 没问题
后天有医生做儿子 每次想到这里就欢喜
他还说 再吃力也不要 穿的失礼否则怎去毕业典礼
下一代 我们再 我们再 唉声叹气在沼泽里无能为力
想不到为什么会在这里又想去哪里
越懂得多 越不满意 越喜欢回忆
看到了背影 看不到自己
（路牌）也都怀疑 一直走千万公里 忘记了目的
想不到为什么会在这里 又想去哪里
越懂得多 越不满意 越喜欢回忆
看到了路灯 看不到自己 一直到司机说他老了 忘了问我你想去哪里~~~

remember not to....

A few things you should never do..... i mean never never do....

1. Eat a whole packet of sun biscuits.. especially the really really sweet ones...
2. Run around the house 3am in the morning shouting sugar overload
3. Attempt remedy the sugar overload by drinking 3 litres of tap water
4. Walk to a park that's 15 mins from your house after loading your bladder
5. Look for a toilet in a park that's barely the size of a basketball court
6. Run home with your bladder full and ready to burst
7. Blog about your stupidity after the end of everything

sugar overload

OVERLOAD!!! OVERLOAD!!!!! system down.... system down....
arghHhhh... someone save me!!!!!!!!!

sakura drops...

Isn't it better that some words are left unsaid.... instead, replace the words with a simple tingles of an instrument... makes the world an easier place to live in...

presenting..... my campmates....

Finally.... the time has come for our ord.... we've been through the ups and the downs.... all the sai kang and all the standbys... endured the "dynamic" environment of our batallion... and now we shall thrust forward towards the next phase of our lifes.... I'll miss waking up in the morning with you guys... eating the sambal bao and the grossly unpalatable cookhouse dinner... i'll miss all the little moments we shared together... i'll hardship and joy we experienced together... i'll remember the jokes we had and the songs we shared... i'll remember how your sheer presence made ns life so much easier on me.... i'll miss all of you... all of your antics and all of your idiosyncrasies... our paths converged 20mths ago... and now we'll move on towards our different directions in life... obscure as our future may be... i'm sure we'll all manage a ray of light upon the bleakness, push through the fog of uncertainties into a bright and wonderful tomorrow... like what hanwen says... life begins with a pink ic... I wish all of you the best in you future endeavours.. sounds like some speech CO would give... but this is from the bottom of my heart... i hope that even if our paths don't cross in future... we'll forever remember what we shared... and when you're lonely and depressed... always remember there's a cockster waiting for your call to go kbox or to la kopi.... anyways... i really enjoyed the ord bbq and i'm glad i took pictures....

WOhOoo!!! BBQ here we come.....

ehh.. how come no food??? waT!!!! waiting for us to start fire... sai kang again...

The not so hiong ah hiong~

My 2 bunk mates... jiu cheng singer of 我只为你打 and smelly chen... least interested player

too much food... maybe we should take some and smear it on each other's face

do we look "least interested" enough?

intro to the guys...

火锅叔叔 trying to act cute again... so much muscle but like a kid lidat... haha... i hope you'll remember me when u go australia... and i dun wanna see you on the headlines... so pls keep try not be too much of yourself lest you offend someone... i'll remember you my guard duty partner.. Its a dog eat dog world!!!

zhanhong trying to console ah hiong... dun be so sad... its only a girl...

MIBn sai kang warriors!!! Bravo COY!

The relack gang..... want some otah?

If only we could skate in camp... :D

Speed demon trying to show off his speed of eating chicken wing.... Col Ho is supervising.. kelvin is conducting and dennis... juz dere to watch and mimic...

Our new OC.... a great guy... thanks for taking care of us in our last days in the batallion... sorry if we caused you any trouble.... wish you the best in your career... sir... if you become BG muz remember us horz...

ORD　ＬＯ～～!!!

暗淡无光的世界，多了许多色彩，就因为有你们在。。。。

如果

也许我今天上街会碰到一个可爱的女孩

也许我们会有眼神交流

也许我会向前去认识她

也许我们会一拍即合
也许我们会发觉彼此志趣相同
也许我们会聊一整晚
也许我会向她讨电话号码
也许我会和她相约上街
也许我们会玩得很开心
也许我们会走得越来越近
也许我们会爱上对方
也许我会发现她就是我一直寻找的那善解人意的女孩
也许我们会一起经历很多事
也许我们的感情会因此而成长
也许我会向她求婚
也许她会答应
也许我们会生下两个可爱的男孩
也许我们会成就一个我们梦想中完美的家
也许我们会有一个美满的结局
也许。。。。。。。
也许就因为我没向前去认识她
我才能有那么多的也许
才能有那么多的想象空间
去创造出我理想中的结局
也许，只有在梦境中， 才能有你想要的结局
也许，只有在脑海里，我才能控制剧情的发展，才能如愿以偿
也许，只有在梦幻中才能找到那我渴望的她
也许，可能，如果。。。。 它们是多完美的字眼阿！

cafe dilmar... or however you spell it.....

Recieved a call from bird at around 9pm..... was asked a nonsensical question "ehh... sentosa go in need to pay money or not huh?" i took it as a "you wanna go sentosa with us?" having no life... i was pretty much obliged accede to the request...


i proceeded home to meet them and head off to sentosa together.... i got home 20 minutes later to find them still stuck in a jam... in the carpark of vivo city... (-_-")


well... waited half an hour for them... and we headed off to cafe dilmar... or however you spell it... but if i have to pay 60 dollars for a jug of whiskey... i think i can call it whatever i want... but anyways... here's what happened
























Never really got to understand what the hype was all about..... so we decided to leave the place after half an hour of trying to figure out why the place is fun... anyways... we ended up at cineleisure hongkong cafe and continued our frenzy of looking at each other not knowing what to do...















artisitic right? anyways... you probably know where the focus of the photo is after all the editing... haha..... she's from hong kong....

sammi rox....

Finally cleared my SOC... paid a price though... blisters and a cut on my ankle... but its all worth it... can finally clear out my helmet and SBO~!!!! ORD LO!!!!!!

sammi.... Diva 4eva~!!!!

kutuk

kutuk - blockhead or otherwise used to describe a slow and uncreative person

i always thought i was creative and witty...
but some things are juz harder to go about doing than others.....
guess that whilst i'm good at some stuff.... i'm really really lousy at some too....

einstein said....

i can measure the movement of celestial objects...
but i cant measure the madness of people...

I've become totally oblivious to my surrounding environment...
yesterday when i reached home... it was pitch dark... i turned on the lights... it didn't respond...
but i didn't seem to be bothered by it... i turned on the air con but it didn't work... but for some reason... it didn't bother me either... so i went on to pull out my mattress and went to sleep...
i woke up the next morning to find out that there was a short circuit and the whole house was outta electricity... today... i left my handphone in some toilet and realised it only when i've reached my next destination... rushed back to find it still intact where i left it... miraculously.. lady luck loves me...

this is my first time typing my blog in a pacific coffe outlet... feels good... so this is what expats and backpackers feel like... i'm probably going to do this when i go backpacking in taiwan and japan....

my virgin post

haha... did my virgin post on shareinvestor.... well... actually... maybe its not my first post... but my first informative post.... not something like stupid "Cheong ar!!!" or some sarcastic remark like "Everyone knows you are kateking... no need to shout out loud".. got this guy wanted info on my favourite counter... surprisingly... i managed to type out quite a load of stuff... haha... must've looked at it so often i memorized some of the details

mm.. actually this thread got alot of data on it liaozz...
especially in brother desperado's post
but basically a things that i like about it are

-the prospect of carbon credit sales
-the group's engineering division can design, build and provide a full spectrum support for the biomass plants
-the vision to own and operate 20 biomass plants in 4 yrs time
-China's emphasis on green energy
-China’s Renewable Energy Law will benefit them in many ways such as getting a premium in the sale price of energy to the national grid
-positioned in china where biomass/agriculture waste is in abundance
-Net assets/share is @ $0.20 although i would need to shave off 39 mil of goodwill due to the acquisition of the yima power plant and the progress of the development of biomass projects from the 416 mil net assets
-It has a good team of top management mostly from singapore so you can probably trust what you see in the reports.
-Has a few prominent figures on the board (in my opinion)

A few things i dun like

-Its a tad overgeared at 1.1
-Overgeared therefore it has a very heavy financing cost FY 06 financing cost = 3+ mil
-It tends to dilute our shareholding by issuing new shares and convertible bonds, but it would be the logical thing to do since they are a asset heavy company and they are already overgeared. wondering if they can do anything similar to reits, like a energy infrastructure trust or something
-rise in emphasis on biomass energy may cause shortage of agricultural waste
-the EPS sucks so dun expect anything anytime soon... its more of a VERY long term play
-too many shares... think they should do consolidation....

may sound a little oxymoronic... but juz my 2 cents... the annual report is quite informative... http://www.enersavegroup.com/hope it would drop below 0.15 den can buy somemore keep I would give it another until next yr or at least until more plants are up to see any result, and probably in 2008 when they start selling carbon credits we should see even more results.More of a growth stock... but in my view... infrastructure companies are always worth the wait...

i think i'm going crazy.. gotta stop myself.... lolx

batman... batman....

Your results:
You are Batman

Batman 90% Superman 60% Robin 55% Hulk 45% Green Lantern 40% Spider-Man 30% The Flash 30% Supergirl 25% Wonder Woman 25% Iron Man 25% Catwoman 20%

You are dark, love gadgets and have vowed to help the innocent not suffer the pain you have endured.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test


Batman... Batman.... i love my bat mobile....


Your results:
You are Green Goblin

Green Goblin 69% Dr. Doom 65% Lex Luthor 59% Mr. Freeze 58% Venom 52% The Joker 51% Juggernaut 49% Two-Face 45% Dark Phoenix 42% Apocalypse 41% Magneto 40% Kingpin 33% Riddler 29% Catwoman 28% Poison Ivy 19% Mystique 13%

Going to almost any length to achieve greatness in body and mind has led to a hard working and power hungry businessman.

Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test

I'm going to the cinema to root for my son.... DAMN YOU SPIDERMAN!!!!!!

ahh... the ambivalence....

ahh... the ambivalence... the magic that you once felt... you want it back it again...
ahh... the ambivalence... the passion that you once had... it refuses to resurface...
ahh... the ambivalence.... the things that went right... just wont go right anymore...
ahh... the ambivalence... perhaps the freedom that you have now... you don't want to let go...
what lonely hours... the evening shadow springs...
what lonely hours... with memories lingering...
like faded flowers... they can't mean anything...
when you're alone.. who cares for studded skies
when you're alone... the magic moonlight dies
maybe you no longer love the evening shadow springs.. the studded skies... the magic moonlight... the memories....
ahh..... the ambivalence....

when your money has gone..

Jazz music is remarkably soothing.... it has the impeccable ability to make embed comfort within you... even when you are losing money... somehow.... when my head automatically translates "when your lover has gone" to "when your money has gone" but i dun exactly feel a thing...
quoting from the song... "like faded flowers, they don't mean anything" haha... maybe that's how i feel...



I think its the adrenaline rush that fuels me to keep waiting... you never know what's going to happen next... especially when you panjang when they whole world is kateking.... the feeling is... how should i put it... perturbingly exhilarating... so oxymoronic right... that's how good it feels....

erico ichihara

i like her music..... makes me feel at peace with myself.... i like songs that tell a story...



lately friends have been nice to me.... even the ones that i've neglected for a long time.... thank you... thanks for the jb trip.... thanks for the late night movies.... thanks for the cosafe... thanks for the great skating sessions.... thanks for the platoon outing at east coast.... well actually not platoon... juz the few of us... specially to vincent... haven't saw u in a long time... but it was just like old times.... thanks for all the little things in life i've come to learn to appreciate.... thank you life.... for going easy on me....

如果我有事

人往往都会等到失去过后才懂得珍惜，
那些生命频繁出现的人，例常发生的事
那把你轻轻叫醒的鸟叫声，
那总是比你早起准备早餐的食堂大婶
那每天向你打招呼的油站大叔，那些在ecp熟悉的面孔
那永远不变的jetty, 那卖水小贩可爱的儿子，
那闪亮的星星，那任性的我，那坚持的你。
这一些都是我们在繁忙的都市生活中会常常忽略的琐碎人于事。
在现今的社会里，我们常常被功名利益所迷惑而忘了那些把我们生活拼凑起来的点点滴滴。
我们常追求着无法实现的梦，不能完成的事，没法得到的人。
难道只有的不到的才值得去惋惜，只有不能成真的才值得去争取吗？
就像公主往往等着骑着白马来救她的王子，而看不到在他身边那温柔野兽的美，
像向往赢得美人心房的少年郎，无法看见一直在身旁支持他的知己，
像追求事业的年轻人无法看到为他忙碌一生而白了发的父母。
你有多就没给过身边的人一个温馨的拥抱了？
有多就没向你心爱的人说声“我爱你”了？
有多就没给你想念的人发个问候的简讯了？
有多久没 give thanks for the little things in your life 了？
我疯了吗？怎么用了华文打出了一大堆无聊的字眼？
but as you can see.... this is getting nowhere... but i will continue to work on it...
in case you don't know me.... i'm more proficient in chinese than i seem on paper.... haven't been writing for a long time... but i'm still pretty good in the verbal aspect... Chinks forever！

so let me pass the baton to the pro and let 林夕 take over

from the movie 龙凤斗
if only andy lau and sammi cheng could make one more movie together....
sammi.... viva forever......
The male and female version....
如果你有事 by sammi and the reply by andy 如果我有事




我怕没有这运气 一生一世有我便会有~你
因此太着意去逗 你欢喜好给你回味
我也愿意信命理 看注定谁先走 是谁未到期
无恙的你 病发的我 唯有累你
无疑太爱你 怎舍得失去力量照顾你
随时行开了 连再会亦无期
然而我信爱叫你的来往生都紧记
无论世外人间天与地 在某一天又再一起
如我若有事你会很寂寞 你独个行怎可快乐
你没我的运气能先走毕竟 能早登天国
但我若有事你要孤独做人就重头再学
学习到天边海角 一人拼搏
你这主角 没有配角
无疑太爱你 怎舍得失去力量照顾
你随时行开了 连再会亦无期
然而我信爱 叫你的来往生都紧记
无论世外人间天与地 在某一天又再一起如
我若有事你会很寂寞 你独个行怎可快乐
你没我的运气能先走 毕竟能早登天国
但我若有事你要孤独做人就重头再学
学习到天边海角 一人拼搏
你这主角 没有配角
如我若有事你会很寂寞 你独个行怎可快乐
你没我的运气能先走 毕竟能早登天国
就算是有事绦也可让别人再做你主角
但是你怎希罕那 一场寄讬 是我多口 令你发恶

ORD mood

Should i clear off today?? But its stupid to clear half a day...... and i only have 7 days of leave left... might as well spend the half day in bunk doing the maths... differentiation is a big headache.... chek... good luck... nv come yesterday for lesson.... ORD mood..... when asked the question... where are you at now... my answer is no longer xxxxx camp... but SIM UOL Accountancy and Finance :D... I like it...

I like presents... they show for something... something tangible... it makes you feel happy and makes you feel cared for... its not the price that matters... its the sincerity that counts... i nv like branded anyways... Its always nice to exchange presents... in any form... it is rather brazen and unabashed to be asking for presents.... but at least i have certain principles to stand by when it comes to acceptance of presents... i don't accept them from just anyone... if you don't matter... neither does your present...

Zac's enlisting today... reminds me of the day dad sent me to tekong... that was like 1 yr 10 months ago.... good luck to you... hope you don't get in any trouble....

empty

you know... just 5 mins ago.. i had loads of words in this text box... but now... all i wanna say is that i'm tired... just tired... why do you keep trying to squeeze words in between lines... i'm not a mind reader... i don't know your thoughts... i'm off to camp...

http://laozhabor.blogspot.com

Lao Zha Bor ROX!!!!!!!
This sounds so conformist... but again... i'm too much of a non conformist to conform to non conformist's standards... in other words... i don't really care... i don't know what i want... and i do what i feel like doing... i'm a oxymoron... so... bite me~
i know you drop by.... so i try to update my blog as often as possible.. it's my own little way of staying in touch....

non conformist.....

i really really hate conforming to society's standards..... i hate the word chilling out... i don't like to go "yo babe" , "wassup", "miss ya lots!!!!"... i think i hate the "miss ya lots" for a whole different reason... maybe its because people don't mean it... maybe its because of the frequency of it said... maybe its because i can't relate to them... i don't have that much space in my heart to miss that many people that many number of times.... i don't like crowds.... and i don't like cafe dil ma

I feel jazzy...

The theme song for today....



I like songs sung in a foreign language, it allows your mind to wander, to imagine, to explore... it grants me the space to imagine what i want to imagine the singer is singing, and let the tunes orchestrate my thoughts.

I like my pride... I think it is something we admire each other for.. but somehow it coagulates into some sort of barrier... and we leave at the end of the day with a "i don't need you or any of your self centric idiosyncrasies, i can jolly well survive alone" attitude. Although i can't say that's exactly what we objectified from the start, but at least we get reprieve from the self righteous anger that accompanies to sleep at night.

I like river valley's fish soup and i like star movies... they make the world a friendlier place...

I don't like phillip yeo...

i don't like the people on "who's going"... everytime i see sebas log on... i feel like i've just entered lala land... everyone appears to be so happy.. happy is an understatement, they are like santa clauseS... on prozac... at disneyland... getting laid. After all the partying... the booze, the smooze.. you go home...... den what? Under the the glamorous facade.... lies what? i would like to know... i would like to be happy too...

I like how the breeze brushes against my face in an empty orchard road 3 am in the morning... i like filling up the empty spaces with my footprints and i like squelching the silence with my humming... i like listening to el hazard's ending theme while strolling along once crowded streets...



I like the blower's daughter by damien rice... I like how he says that life will go easy on me.... most of the time... i like the non chalance in his voice..... it reflects my mood... moodless... no ups.. no downs.. just plain sailing.. if any could be more apt to describe my mood.. it would be this =l .... its been a long time since its been like =) or like =(

I don't like hopeless romantics... so here's something to crush you all... if you think the blower's daughter is about a happy lovelorn moron who's endlessly infatuated with the blower's daughter... guess again... It's a warped song, i doubt you ever pay attention to the ending of the song where he says... "Till i find somebody" there's a reason why its coupled with the movie "Closer"...

Behind the facade...

when emptiness kicks in... what do you do?
hide amongst the crowd, behind a facade of joy?
or
seek solace in solitude in your very own sanctuary?

Serendipity

Serendipity - A fact or occurrence of fortunate discoveries.
It's been a long time since i've experienced serendipity..... however today.... by a moment of serendipicious-ness, whilst looking for the song i got infatuated with during yesterday's ktv session with chek, i discovered a little story that coincides with the song... or at least i think so.... Its not a literal or palpable kind of correspondence but rather, it concurs in the manner in which it sets upon you a tinge of sadness and that small drop of tear that it brings to your eye. Not dramatic, but its as real as the real thing.

都过了四个多月,她还是日日夜夜地在思念着这个男孩..分手过后,男孩还是很关心她,可是身份不对了,这是以一个朋友的身份来关心,她还是不很习惯,所以她还是伤心..最近,男孩很少联络她了,是因为工作忙吗?还是有其他原因?她很想知道,可是她知道她没有资格再问男孩这些问题了..昨天,她收到男孩的简讯,是有关房间的事...她觉得有点难过是因为离开这房间日子到了..心里酸酸的...她再也没有任何的理由住在这房间里了..男孩还是关心的问她会搬到哪里..可是她没有回答男孩...男孩是真的为了她的前途着想,希望她得到更多更好的才狠下心肠离开了她,还是男孩已经不再爱她了?这,没有人知道,她也不知道...男孩才是懂这答案的人..当她想起男孩离开她时,那没有一丝丝留恋的眼神..真的很心酸...如果男孩是真的为了她着想才离开她的话,她很感动也很难过..不过,她会好好的过..不会让男孩担心..她也一直希望男孩也会还好的过,好好的在他的事业上打拼,毕竟男孩是为了事业才离开她的..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------





她来听我的演唱会
曲:梁文福 词:黄中岳 编:黄中岳

她来听我的演唱会
在十七岁的初恋第一次约会
男孩为了她彻夜排队
半年的积蓄买了门票一对
我唱得她心醉 我唱得她心碎
三年的感情一封信就要收回
她记得月台汽笛声声在催
播我的歌陪着人们流泪
嘿 陪人们流泪
她来听我的演唱会
在二十五岁恋爱是风光明媚
男朋友背着她送人玫瑰
她不听电话夜夜听歌不睡
我唱得她心醉 我唱得她心碎
成年人分手后都像无所谓
和朋友一起买醉卡拉OK
唱我的歌陪着画面流泪
嘿 陪着流眼泪
我唱得她心醉 我唱得她心碎
在三十三岁真爱那么珍贵
年轻的女孩求她让一让位
让男人决定跟谁远走高飞
嘿 谁在远走高飞
我唱得她心醉 我唱得她心碎
她努力不让自己看来很累
岁月在听我们唱无怨无悔
在掌声里唱到自己流泪
嘿 唱到自己流泪
她来听我的演唱会
在四十岁后听歌的女人很美
小孩在问她为什么流泪
身边的男人早已渐渐入睡
她静静听着我们的演唱会

Was mysteriously drawn to my keyboard, logged in and started blogging even though i have only a very short morning to accomplish a very long series of tasks. Maybe its because alot has happened this week and i want to share it with you.... maybe its because you're the only one listening to me.... It's a pity you're like a mirage that will never actualize.... how i wish i could make wishes to you and see it happen in front of me the next day like some sort of surprise...

It's been a really hectic week in camp, 5 days of parades in a row, almost got turned into a roasted pig under the scorching sun, i've turned from black, to red, then to purple, and for the grand finale, when i actually got to book out at 9pm yesterday night... there had to be a shortfall in the amount of magazines, and we had to search high and low for it only to find it misplaced under a table in the armskote... how ridiculous.... But at least things ended on a happy note yesterday night... found my uni acceptance letter lying on the table along with details for my long awaited bridging course... finally i'm able to taste the sweet campus life again....

The last screening of Letters of Iwo Jima is at 1135pm tonight... might not be seeing it on the big screen after all.....

Well... off to work... got a long morning in front of me....

i need a break

Cant seem to get into the ORD mood, camp's been a real bitch lately, parades... parades.. parades, news of the upcoming schedule. It feels as if i've been been sucked through some kinda inter-dimensional black hole, back into 2005 when i've just enlisted. I've never really expected much from the last 2 months of service in this hell hole, but the least my unit could've done in a reciprocative effort is to allow us to exact that sigh of relief, that "Phew, its finally almost over", It is rather evident that no ostensible effort has been put in with regards to our welfare...
Courses, exercises, outfields, SOCs.... so this is what we get in return for our blood and sweat. So much for family....

found this a tad interesting... also potentially provocative if it was written by a male

我们都想要帅哥
可是不要他的花心
也不要随时都得提心吊胆--
怕别的女孩打他的主意

我们都爱有钱少爷
最好是老豆快死翘翘的那种
可是不要他在外头包二奶三妾四姨太
更加看不起堂堂男人
像个女人一样连灯泡都不会换

我们都爱飞仔因为
做黑道大哥的女人听起来很帅
而且男人不坏女人不爱
如果不被连累不被对付不用跟着亡命天涯的话
不想跟 <<古惑仔>>里的黎姿同一下场

我们都爱DJ
但DJ不轻佻就不好玩了
而男朋友怎么可以对谁都口花花呢

我们都爱pilot
但永远不想听见别人提起他跟某某空姐之间的暧昧

Note how each sentence contradicts its predecessor....
the female species.... amazingly temperamental, yet at the same time very much predictable

God: You have one wish from me
Man: I want a bridge from singapore to LA, so i can take my harley for a joyride
God: That will use up much resources which could be put to better use, make another wish
Man: I wanna understand women
God: Ok, how many lanes you want? 3 or 4?

Dun get me wrong man... almighty god is omnipotent, but the even the all knowing knows its best not to go there....